A Ghost Story: The Spirit of Rejection

At first I wasn't going to cover the latest letter sent to ASK POLLY because I didn't see the spiritual angle. But now it's so obvious I don't know how I missed it for even a second. This letter writer is dealing with an issue most people battle at some point in life.

A woman has been left unceremoniously with no explanation by her long time boyfriend. He was a cheater and let her know as much when she got pregnant by him. Shortly after, she miscarried. But while she was still pregnant, she reached out to the woman the boyfriend was cheating with as well as the boyfriend of that woman.

Two years after the miscarriage, the boyfriend dumped the letter writer with a brief text. But first he accused her of sending inappropriate messages to someone, though the LW had no idea what he was talking about. Instead of getting an explanation, the boyfriend blocked her number. Now the LW realizes the boyfriend was talking about the messages she sent two years ago to the boyfriend of the woman LW's partner cheated with.

LW is anguished, asking Polly for some kind of explanation for why she has been discarded so cruelly and if she will feel this pain the rest of her life. She even signs her name as Fully, Entirely, Utterly Crushed:

"Mostly, will he ever believe that I am not a bad person with malicious intentions? Or will I have to walk through the rest of my days with this albatross, knowing that someone I loved immensely thinks I am the biggest, hugest, most evil shit-pile in the universe? Knowing that my character has been assassinated among all of our mutual friends, his family who I thought would eventually be my family someday, is crushing me. Why does he want me to feel as much hurt as possible during this breakup, and likely, beyond, for the rest of my days? What can I do to dissuade him from hating me? I am totally shattered."

Like I said, at first I didn't find this letter compelling, mainly because I didn't see the truth of it hiding in plain sight. I just thought she was foolish, if not willfully ignorant. Her boyfriend made it clear he was a cheater early on in their relationship. Short of him being born again, he wasn't likely to change. And the fact she even cared what her boyfriend thought about her after what he did to her made me understand her friend, who had to step away lest her own trauma with an abusive boyfriend be reignited.

But now she has my deepest empathy.

"...the truth...is all I need right now."

Her partner has a spirit of infidelity. And he attracted a woman with the same -- birds of a feather! Demons travel in packs. The LW is being tormented by a spirit of rejection, which has seriously blinded her. People outside of a lost cause battle with the spirit of rejection can see what the person in the grip of rejection cannot: that they need to let go and walk away. The fire won't continue to burn her if the fuel -- in this case the LW -- is no longer there.

But she is compelled to stay in the game, long after her boyfriend has left the field and the stands are empty. She is sifting through the ashes now, in awe of the depths of her pain and wondering how she can change the mind of the person who has inflicted this pain upon her. Her perspective is skewed. Her mind is not clear.

We are tormented demonically through our souls: our mind, will and emotions. Her mind is not clearly perceiving her situation. She is, in her own words, utterly crushed in her emotions. Her will has been taken from her in that she cannot turn away from this situation despite the fact a resolution is simply not available. And because we are a body that houses a soul, the most devastating way the spirit of rejection has attacked her is through miscarriage, wherein her body has rejected her pregnancy. That word is also defined as the unsuccessful outcome of something planned, which clearly applies to her relationship.

She doesn't know that when she chose to bond herself sexually to a character like her ex-boyfriend, she opened up the portal for demonic torment. Her boyfriend isn't the real issue. Who is operating through the boyfriend is the problem.

There were a couple of things that leaped out from the letter: first, that the woman with whom the LW's boyfriend was cheating is referred to as a mistress. This is a label that's specific to an extramarital relationship. The second thing was that the LW and her boyfriend had moved into and at great expense set up a home together; in effect, they were playing house, playing marriage.

Way back in the old days, people didn't have a city hall where they got a marriage license. They simply stated they were married and lived as such. Consummating the marriage is what made them husband and wife in the eyes of God. Because that is a ritual involving body fluids, and it's performed on an altar of sorts: the marriage bed. It is a shadow of the blood on the altar.

But the marriage license is a handy illustration. Like anything you need a license for to operate within legally, sex is also something that requires a license. That license is marriage. I know that is so far away from how we currently view sex as a society, but God's position has never changed. And his rules are the ones all of creation follows. If we choose not to, we suffer the penalty.

When we join in sexual union with someone, we become what the bible calls "one flesh." And it's a mystery, what happens. But the results are clear: we become one with them, not just physically, but through our soul and spirit. 

The result of a physical union between a man and a woman can be a pregnancy. There are results from homosexual unions as well, the bible tells us.

But the same way there can be a physical result, there also can be a spiritual result. And it is so dangerous that the bible warns us to only have one sexual partner for life, our spouse. And the only time it's acceptable to have a second spouse is when the first one has died. Because only through death is the covenant of marriage -- and sexual union -- broken. This is where the concept of spirit spouses originates.

When the bible says do not multiply wives, it means do not sleep with many women. Have only one spouse/ sexual partner. In the bible, fornication and adultery are at the top of every list of offenses that result in eternal punishment. It's that serious. Naturally, the world -- which is ruled by satan -- works overtime to send the message that all sex is good and we should all be having sex with whomever and whenever the urge strikes us. And the culture is geared toward feeding that urge all the time. Other than hunger and survival, sex is the strongest urge we have, so why wouldn't the enemy tempt us and encourage us in an area that we are naturally weak to control?

The point is that sexual union opens up a hallway between two people with open doors on both ends. Anything can pass from one person to another. Specifically, spirits and curses. Some people call these hallways soul ties.

Besides picking up whatever spiritual malady a sexual partner has -- and by extension any spiritual malady any of their previous partners had -- when we operate outside of God's laws in sex, we are open to be penalized in whatever way the enemy chooses and God allows.

To anyone reading this who may recognize themselves, know that there is a solution to this spiritual but very real problem. We must undergo spiritual strengthening and healing in order to wage effective spiritual warfare. The first and most important step is to give your life to Christ. From that point you'll be able to put on the armor of God and battle the evil we face in life.

Above all, this life only lasts for a brief moment before we go on to live an eternal life in one of two places. The choice we make while we are alive on earth directly impacts where we will be once we die. Today on Halloween the world is basically celebrating the powers of hell. The devil is laughing. Yet the bible says we don't even have the capacity to imagine how wonderful heaven will be. Don't be lulled into complacency or allow the world to distract you from making a choice for Christ.


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